As the adoption sector works to modernise, we are recognising more than ever that the voices of those with lived experience of adoption must inform our thinking, policy and practice. This page puts a spotlight on the perspectives of adoptees, adopters and birth parents, via videos produced by organisations across the adoption sector.
Adoptee stories
Listening to the voices of adoptees is absolutely vital if we are to understand and champion their needs throughout adulthood, particularly at key stages of life.
PAC-UK, one of CVAA’s members, offers specialist birth parent and relative support services, including its national advice line. PAC-UK also has a specialist service which provides support for adults adopted as children.
You Can Adopt – The You Can Adopt website spotlights a range of stories from adoptive families, talking about their adoption journeys and ups and downs along the way.
Adoption England – Videos for adopters covering themes such as the early days of placement in adoption; education and attachment; developmental delay; EHCPs; FASD; trauma; genetics; Autism; ADHD; BBI; ongoing contact.
A few stories from our member agencies’ adopters:
Charlie, Fostering for Adoption Carer (Concurrent Planning)
Just over fifty years ago, I would have been arrested in the UK for promoting the fact I was a gay male. Back then, it was inconceivable to think that gay people had the right to love, cohabit or even publicly show affection to anyone of the same sex.
Can you even begin to imagine the consequences of same sex couples or single gay people being given the right to care for or adopt children who needed the two fundamental needs of all human being: to be loved, and cared for? It was a reality far from anyone’s mind at that time.Fast forward to present day and it is evident to see the opportunities open to the LBGTQ+ community when it comes to practising the desire of most human beings on this planet, to be a carer or potential parent to a child who needs stability and love. It is thanks to many people before my time who fought for the right of equality that allows me, a 35-year-old single gay male, to currently care for an amazing baby boy.I wasn’t raised to believe things are not possible. In fact, I was always told that anything is possible as long as you reach hard enough through barriers to grab it. It was always my belief that I was put on this earth to be a parent; I just chose to go that one step further and concurrently care for a child in the hope that would lead onto me becoming a parent.I started to really think about it seriously when I started to change my lifestyle about two years ago now in preparation for the changes ahead. That’s when I gave up my ‘posh’ apartment and sports car so that I could get something a little bit more sensible!I made the decision to embark on the concurrent planning journey with the knowledge that, even if adoption is not the final outcome, I have provided love, support and stability to a little human being for as long as they are with me. I am proud to be a single gay male concurrent carer, and it is a path that I champion.
I know there are more straight-forward routes out there but for me, it was more important to give a child a home, regardless of the outcome. There are tonnes of kids out there, so I didn’t see the point of going down the surrogacy route when I could give my time to kids who were already born but just didn’t have a home of their own.
Michael and Les
Les and I both met while working overseas as holiday reps over 12 years ago, after 3 years travelling we decided to come home and join the real world. We moved to the North West for work and have called Cheshire home ever since. We both work within the travel industry and we love to travel the globe as a family of 3. We live in Cheshire with our little boy and our dog, Betsy. Oh and not forgetting our tortoise, Porky!
We did a lot of research on a few agencies, and we got literature sent to us from all. Reading and researching then followed for a few months before we made contact with Adoption Matters. We were lucky as we have a friend who had adopted through them the year before we started our initial enquiries. We went to see her and over a few cups of tea and lots of questions we decided to take the next step and contact Adoption Matters.
From the minute we contacted we knew we had made a great choice. The whole team where so welcoming, informative and very approachable. We had many questions throughout our whole process, but we never had to leave these questions unanswered as we always had a point of contact.
The whole process was very professional and this left us both feeling confident we had made the right decision. Even now nearly 3 years since we became a family of 3 we know Adoption Matters are only a phone call away.The joys of adopting! Wow we have so many, not only becoming a family of 3, we have made lots of new friends within our community. We also have a very busy social calendar now; Weekends are pretty full on! Parties, play dates etc. but the main joy has to be seeing through your own eyes, a child growing and developing in to their own individual little personality.Some of the challenges of adopting? Having no family nearby to help out with work/school run and holidays. Also people giving their advice and we have learned our own way.Birth parent saying she doesn’t want any more letters and she won’t be writing anymore. So we know this will be a challenge in the future.We would say to anyone considering adoption right now. DO IT! It is so rewarding being a parent. Everyone’s journey is different so ask as many questions as you need, don’t be afraid as no question is a silly question. But don’t forget to ask YOURSELF one question – What would your family look like in one year from now? The answer should make you want to take the first step.
